Melvin’s Marsupial Mix
$26.00
Description
Melvin’s Marsupial’s Mix
Melvin’s is a self-appointed trail mix sommelier currently engaged in a high-stakes, all-you-can-eat tour of the local wilderness. He has
Melvin’s Marsupial’s Mix
Melvin’s is a self-appointed trail mix sommelier currently engaged in a high-stakes, all-you-can-eat tour of the local wilderness. He has determined that the forest is merely a decorative backdrop for his primary objective: locating and consuming every yogurt-covered raisin in a five-mile radius.
Psychological Profile & Field HabitsThe “Technicolor” Delusion: The subject’s rainbow-finish sunglasses have a light transmission rate of approximately 2%. He is essentially navigating the forest via “Vibe-Radar.” If he hits a tree, he simply assumes the tree was “out of line” and attempts to intimidate the bark with a high-pitched, raisin-scented hiss.
The “Salty-Paw” Grip: He has consumed so much trail mix that his paws have developed a semi-permanent coating of salt and chocolate dust. This provides him with “extra grip” for holding onto his snack bag, but it also means he is currently being followed by a parade of very optimistic ants.
The “Summit” Delusion: Every time he climbs over a particularly large tree root, he pauses to adjust his shades and look at the “view.” To him, a six-inch elevation gain is a feat of heroic proportions. He expects applause.
He thinks he is the protagonist of a nature documentary.
Caution: Melvin has begun to use his oversized boots as “storage lockers” for extra pecans. If he offers you a seat on a log, check for hidden legumes before sitting. He is highly protective of his “emergency caches.”
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
You’ve now found the staple t-shirt of your wardrobe. It’s made of 100% ring-spun cotton and is soft and comfy. The double stitching on the neckline and sleeves add more durability to what is sure to be a favorite!
• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
• Dark Heather is 65% polyester, 35% cotton
• 4.5 oz/yd² (153 g/m²)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Nicaragua, Honduras, Dominican Republic, Haiti or Guatemala
Disclaimer: Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
Additional information
| Weight | N/A |
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