Black t-shirt with a raccoon in a suit and hat graphic.
A gray t-shirt featuring a stylish raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat.
Navy blue sweatshirt with a stylish raccoon graphic wearing a suit and glasses.
Gray t-shirt with a stylish raccoon graphic wearing a hat and suit.
White T-shirt with a stylish raccoon in a suit and hat graphic.
Gray t-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat graphic.
White t-shirt with a cool raccoon in sunglasses and jacket design.
A blue t-shirt featuring a raccoon in a hat and sunglasses graphic.
T-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat design.
Folded dark gray t-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing a hat and glasses graphic.
T-shirt featuring a cool raccoon wearing sunglasses and a jacket.
An olive green T-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat.
Light blue t-shirt with a cool raccoon wearing sunglasses graphic.
Purple shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat graphic.
T-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing a tie and jacket design.
Teal t-shirt featuring a stylish raccoon in a suit and hat graphic.
Blue t-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat graphic.
A blue t-shirt featuring a stylish raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat.
Dark gray t-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing a suit and hat.
Bright pink t-shirt with a cool raccoon wearing a hat and sunglasses design.
Black t-shirt with a raccoon in a detective outfit graphic.
Dark gray t-shirt with a raccoon wearing a suit and sunglasses graphic.
Stylish navy shirt with a cool raccoon wearing a suit design.
Gray t-shirt with a cool raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat graphic.
White T-shirt featuring a stylized raccoon in a suit and hat.
Gray t-shirt featuring a raccoon in a suit and hat graphic.
White T-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing sunglasses and a jacket print.
Blue t-shirt featuring a raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat graphic.
Grey T-shirt with a stylish raccoon graphic wearing sunglasses and a hat.
Dark t-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat.
Beige t-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing a hat and suit graphic.
Olive green t-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat.
Light blue T-shirt with a cool raccoon wearing sunglasses design.
Purple t-shirt with a cool raccoon wearing a hat and glasses design.
T-shirt featuring a stylized raccoon illustration.
Teal t-shirt with raccoon in detective suit and hat graphic.
A gray t-shirt with a detailed raccoon wearing a hat and tie.
Blue t-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing a hat and suit graphic.
Dark gray T-shirt with a stylish raccoon wearing a hat and glasses.
Pink t-shirt featuring a stylish raccoon wearing sunglasses and a hat.

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The Myth. The Legend.

$26.68

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Description

The Dapper Bandit: Every town has its whispers, its urban legends passed down in hushed tones. It’s not Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster; it’s the elusive The Raccoon of Refuse. Nobody knew where he came from, and certainly no one knew his name. He was the whispered presence when a perfectly good half-eaten hot dog vanished from a backyard barbecue, or when a perfectly sealed garbage can was found inexplicably… empty.

But this wasn’t just any raccoon. Oh no. The legend truly began one sweltering summer night when Mrs. Gable, renowned for her prize-winning chrysanthemums and even more prized early bedtime, swore she saw him. Not just a flash of beady eyes and a striped tail, but a figure. A dapper figure.

She described him to anyone who’d listen, breathlessly, wide-eyed: “He was wearing… sunglasses! At night! And a tiny fedora, tilted just so! And a suit, mind you, a full, albeit slightly rumpled, suit! His tie was loose, like he’d just finished a long day of… being fabulous.”

Scoffs turned to murmurs, murmurs to silent respect. A delivery driver swore he saw him waiting patiently at a crosswalk, adjusting his shades with a paw. A late-night diner cook swore he tipped his hat after expertly “liberating” a discarded croissant. He never ran, never scurried in fear. He simply… existed, a cool, calm, culinary connoisseur in custom-fit formalwear.

He became the myth, the legend, the sartorially splendid phantom of the garbage cans and the leader of the Syndicate. Folks would leave out “offerings”—a stray French fry, a slightly bruised apple—not out of charity, but out of respect for the sheer audacity and style of the Dapper Bandit. And somewhere, out there in your town, a raccoon with impeccable taste and a perpetually loose tie is enjoying a gourmet meal, planning his next strategic move…

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!

Additional information

Weight N/A
Fit

Male Fit, Female Fit
Product/Style

Short Sleeve, Long Sleeve, Mug, Hoodie

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